


The Ghost Of You

by ierostache



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Heartbreak, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 06:17:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ierostache/pseuds/ierostache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You left that night, putting down your bags by the door as I felt the soft brush of your lips against mine. Exactly like it had been the first time. Only now it was the last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost Of You

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this forever ago and I found it today so I'm posting it.

I sit alone in my room recalling the memory.

 

I could tell something was wrong.

I was holding you as I always did before we went to sleep.

Everything was normal.

Except it wasn't, the silence wasn't welcome or comforting as usual.

It was strained, as was the smile you gave me, when it was usually so soft.

It was then that you made your choice.

I can still hear the way your voice cracked, holding back tears as you muttered the words.

I sat frozen as the words left your mouth.

“I can't do this any more.”

And as much as I hated it, I knew I had to let go.

You left that night, putting down your bags by the door as I felt the soft brush of your lips against mine. Exactly like it had been the first time. Only now it was the last.

Even years later as I walked past you and the family you had built, your arm with new ink wrapped around the waist of the small brunette, and the other whose ink I knew so well, holding a little girl's hand, I smiled softly the way I always used to.

Now instead of the smile being returned with another, it was returned with a look of confusion as you had forgotten what we had shared. Forgotten me.

I still remembered though, the boy who broke my heart.

And I tried to hold on. But as the years went by the memories became a mere phantom.

The way you ran a hand through your hair and blushed at compliments, slowly fading into a dull ache.

The way you smiled when you woke up to me singing softly, just another curve of the lips.

The memory of how your skin felt against mine when I held you softly, how your tattoos contrasted against my pale white skin. Or when your lips brushed over mine so gently, the cool of your lip ring grazing the warmth of my lips, as your tattooed hands brushed through my greasy black hair. But it didn't feel clear any more. Just a ghost.

I held on for as long as I could to those memories, the only things I had left of you.

Even when I stopped remembering what your embrace felt like, or what having your love felt like. Even when eternities would eventually pass and the Earth would be nothing more than stardust, I would always love you, and I would always be yours.

Everyday you would be my first thought when I woke up and my last when I went to sleep.

And now decades after that cold night in December, as my old body goes into a sleep of its own, gasping for air as it tires down to nothing, you are my last thought before I die.

I smile sadly at the memory of you. For all these years I never had you, but I was okay with it. Because you were happy.

And because I had always been yours, even though you were never mine, that was all I wanted.

For you to be happy.

My lungs try one last time for air and before I black out, I smile once again.

You were never mine, but I too was happy, as I could still have more than I could have hoped from you. I had all I wanted, and all I needed.

I had the ghost of you.


End file.
